Prank Wars Read online

  The twins stood in front of me and I watched them closely, my pen poised. They smiled mischievously at each other, too eager to wreak havoc than to see through my disguise. “Blake,” Adam said.

  Blake dimpled. “Adam.”

  I gave Blake a name tag that said Number one, and Adam another that said number two. They looked surprised and I shrugged at them. Adam tried to switch with Blake to get number one. I grinned. Of course the numbers would cause sibling rivalry. Blake finally gave in—he usually did. They walked away in their strangely attractive plaid pants. The brunette next to me sighed. I elbowed her. “Get a hold of yourself, Kali.”

  Battle of the Bands was progressing nicely. Lizzie had groaned when I announced my intention to hand out name tags with her at the entrance, but after we promised to behave ourselves, she had eventually given in. My eyes shifted to Tory. Her hair was in a short black bob. She wore a tuxedo shift dress and cropped red jacket. It was not her normal look at all. She wrote Brad Pitt on a name tag and handed it over to some blond guy. I turned to her. “Is my hair too big?” I asked.

  “You’re in the land of big hair...so no.”

  Tonight I was the blonde. It was weird what a different hair color did to my identity, that and changing my style to be more like Sandra’s. Horrors of horrors, I had on red heels and a flirty black dress. No one recognized us. Well, they might Lizzie. She looked hot, but her dark skin was a dead giveaway. We set her in the crowd with red hair and a cell phone to keep a lookout at the front of the ballroom. Sandra had pronounced us stupid and deserted us for the dance floor, her white and black zippered heels especially loud against the wooden floor.

  “Name,” I barked. “Take a name tag or you don’t get in.” A guy stood in front of me. His eyebrows rose in surprise. Strong silent type, I wrote. I slapped the name tag on his chest. He made room for a cute little couple. Romeo and Juliet, I wrote down for them. I gave them their name tags. “Be safe tonight.” There seemed to be a rush at the tables. Napoleon, I wrote for some kid with curly fro like hair.

  “Hey,” he complained.

  Another guy placed his hands squarely on the table in front of me. “How are you doing?” he asked meaningfully.

  I stared back. Apparently blondes did have more fun. I was getting more hits than ever tonight. I scribbled down what I thought of the guy. Player. I gave him his name tag and his mouth made an O. “Next,” I called.

  Kali wrote Bathsheba and David for the next couple. Jezebel for some high-maintenance girl, my future stalker for some guy flirting with her. She had a stack of single white female name tags. The guys grabbed these ones like hot cakes. Kali giggled, tap dancing her embellished flats against the ground. For a brunette, she wasn’t doing so bad. The next guy in line met her eyes and stole her marker to personalize his own name tag. He wrote secksi with an accent over the i. They shared a smile.

  Tory wasn’t about to be outdone. She sized up the next guy. “What’s your phone number?” He looked confused, but he gave it to her anyway. She wrote it down on his name tag and stuck it on his chest. “That should do the trick.” The corner of his eyes crinkled up when he saw it, but as soon as he left, some girl laughed and accosted him by putting his number into her cell phone.

  “My name is Anne.” A girl stood stiffly in front of Tory with a no-nonsense air.

  Surprisingly, Tory wrote it down without a fuss. She turned to Anne’s boyfriend. “Andy?” she asked.

  “What? No!”

  Tory gave it to him. Soon a thick crowd of students surrounded us, demanding more name tags. It was a hit. No one wanted their real names anymore. “You got any more single white female?” a guy asked me.

  “What are you doing?” Lizzie made her way to our table. Her name tag said Cleo. It was supposed to be her cover, but apparently everyone had a cover tonight. “This is getting out of control! I don’t think one person has their real name on.”

  “How convenient for them certainly.” I handed out another one.

  “You don’t understand! I was put in charge of this!” Some guy patted his friend on the back. As soon as his friend turned, we saw Celestial on his back. The magic was spreading. Lizzie buried her head in her hands. “I’m going to get into so much trouble.”

  “Why? You’re not doing it.”

  “I’m supposed to be.” She tried to shove me over.

  A blond guy used Lizzie as his distraction to slip past. I waved him over politely. “Get your name tag.” He ignored me and headed straight for the crowd. I stood up, my chair scraping loudly behind me. Kali and Tory rose to their feet next to me like enraged sirens. “Get your name tag!” we all shouted.

  Lizzie looked scandalized. Kali scampered around the table and grabbed the guy’s arm, dragging her new hostage to the table by the bicep. As soon as I saw she had Eric, I ducked my head. He had the alternative rocker look with the short-sleeved shirt over the long sleeves. He looked way too good for me to keep my cool look. “Is this absolutely necessary?” he asked with a laugh.

  “You can’t come in without them,” Tory informed him soberly.

  “Here’s your name tag, friend!” Kali wrote it onto his name tag.

  “Friend?” he read with distaste. “What happened to my real name?”

  “Boring.” Tory glanced over at me. I pretended to be interested in my marker. “Each to his own, I guess.”

  Eric grabbed my marker from me and wrote boy next to friend. “Much better.” He stood directly in front of me, meeting my eyes before slipping it on. “By the way,” he told me, “you make a great blonde. If you get out on the dance floor, save a dance for me.” He winked at my astonished face and disappeared into the crowd.

  “He recognized me,” I told Tory. And I didn’t want him to go, but I didn’t tell her that part. Before Tory could respond, Cameron broke through the crowd with a coven of girls. He sported a white Jonas Brothers shirt that said Team Selena. Actually, it was just an American Rejects shirt, but a girl could wish. I hid my face with the blonde hair of my wig. If Eric recognized me, my ex-fiancé would for sure.

  “Cameron.” He impatiently tapped the table next to my fingers. I inched them away and found the marker Eric just discarded. Cameron didn’t recognize me. One of the girls next to him inspected her perfect nails. It was disturbing what kind of girls Cameron went for after me. She was definitely cursed with coolness.

  I turned to her. “And your name?”

  She looked me up and down. After an appropriate insultingly long wait, she said, “Chloe.”

  Property of Chloe’s. I wrote it down and with great daring, slapped Cameron’s special name tag onto his broad chest. “Here ya go, boy toy.”

  He laughed, trying to get a closer look at me. I kept my face averted. He peeled at his name tag. “No, we’re not a couple,” he defended himself as if it were a sin to be dating someone. “It’s not like that.”

  Chloe turned the flirt on and tapped his name tag back down. She met my eyes with a challenging look. “Sure, it’s like that.” Her fingers trailed to his biceps. “He’s my big strong man.”

  That was it. Chloe earned her name tag. I slipped it to her. Cameron’s fan club. I gave the girl on Cameron’s other side hers too, Wife Number Two. The third girl I gave, Cameron’s Fling. They stared down at their name tags. “Have fun tonight,” I sang.

  Cameron refused to be dismissed. He lingered over my table. “Are you always this mean?” Uh oh. I squirmed uneasily. I had made him interested with my cruelty. It was completely ironic since he wasn’t interested when I was nice to him.

  The MC introduced the next band as they made their way onto the stage. 26Down. It was Byron’s band. Well, not really Byron’s band. Rock forced him to play the bass once Byron moved into their apartment. As soon as I heard Rock go off on his drums, I gave Cameron a stern look. “This band is awesome.”

  “Are you kidding? I know those guys. They’re idiots.”

  “You should really go dance.” I waved his new girlfriend
over to him. “Take him away, Chloe.”

  He didn’t take his eyes off me. “It would take a really hot girl to get me to dance,” he said. Before I could kick him under the table, Chloe’s hand released Cameron’s strong bicep, and she stared at him with shocked eyes. Good. The girl had a self-esteem. “Uh,” he stammered. Even he knew he had said the wrong thing. “I mean…you’re a hot girl too,” he told her. “She’d just have to prove that she was really into me. That’s all.”

  “Oh, you want strings attached, do you?” I asked. “Sounds like a commitment.” Whenever I said things like that, Cameron usually looked at me like I was stupid, but since he didn’t recognize me, he looked intrigued. I knew once he figured out who I was, he’d have an attack of the vapors. I tried to think of a way to escape before that happened.

  26Down was already playing on the stage up front. Blake took the microphone, flinging his guitar strap easily over his shoulder. Adam stood to the side with his guitar, wearing his number one name tag. “I’m sorry,” I told Cameron without an ounce of remorse. “These guys are super hot. I gotta go see them play.” I shoved from my seat. Lizzie was more than happy to take my place. She rolled her eyes at Cameron and he stiffened when he recognized her.

  “But our shift isn’t over yet!” Kali was at my heels.

  “We’ve done enough damage,” I said, not slowing down. “We’ve got work to do.”

  Tory nodded. “I’ll go decorate Cameron’s car.” She pulled out a backpack full of toilet paper.

  “You mean Byron’s, right?”

  “Nope.” Tory left us, looking intense. She just didn’t get it. We weren’t out for revenge tonight. We didn’t even know what we were fighting anymore.

  “Oh, hey, wait!” Kali smiled and gave me a name tag, patting it down on my shirt. I glanced down at it. The Hottest Girl You’ve Ever Seen. She laughed. “I want you to have fun tonight, missy!”

  She was missing the point. I pushed my way through the crowd. The incognito name tags had a rowdy effect over these people. Everyone danced, doing fake machine guns and hippy style wash-the-car moves. A guy did the robot into the middle of the dance floor. The sound of exaggerated cheers haunted me. Byron was planning on closing in tonight, but on what? A date? Or something else altogether? I had to keep my mind open to every possibility, but first where was Thanh in this mess? 26Down started their second song. Kali stared admiringly up at Blake. She grabbed my hand and squeezed the life out of it. “Kali!” I complained.

  “Sorry.” She let me go to fan her face with exaggerated motions, hitting me a few times in the process. “He’s just really cute.”

  He was insane. Blake threw the guitar behind his head and plunked out a complicated tune. He made their bass player look like a slacker. It was Byron, after all. He looked half asleep in the back. His cowboy styled button-up wrinkled over his bicep. His fingers moved automatically over the bass, but he was searching the crowd for something…maybe someone. I tried to follow his gaze and it fell on me. His lip curled up. Impossible. He recognized me. Why had I bothered with this stupid disguise then? Someone elbowed me in the side and I turned in irritation until I saw Eric. “Going for a new look?” he asked.

  I elbowed him back. “How did you know it was me?”

  “I’m sorry. Did I blow your cover? What conspiracy are you uncovering now?” He tipped his head back, taking a nonchalant drink of his pop.

  I scanned the crowd for Thanh. “Something’s definitely going on.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded, staring at the guy doing the robot. “This place is crazy. What do you say we head somewhere sane?”

  That was the last thing I wanted. Well, the sane bit. I needed to find Byron’s connection with Thanh. Something wasn’t adding up. Why I cared? For starters, Byron had lied to me. “I just have to check something out first,” I said.

  Eric looked bored. “Let me guess, Byron’s trying to take over the school? What’s he going to do, turn the Y into a U?” He took another drink; he made it look so good, I stole his cup from him. Eric’s bored look evaporated as soon as I downed his pop. He looked intrigued. “Do you always take things that aren’t yours?” he shouted over the noise. Before I knew what he was doing, he took my free hand. I went stiff with surprise. “See, now how do you like it?” he asked me.

  I liked it a lot. I studied his waiting, slightly teasing expression. It was weird, but all I could think of was how close he was to the enemy. Maybe he could help me. “Hey, do you spend a lot of time at Rock’s?”

  “What? Rocks?”

  He couldn’t hear me over the music. I leaned over him to shout. “The drummer?”

  “Yeah, what about him?”

  “Did you see a black backpack at his place?”

  Eric’s nose wrinkled and his hand slid from mine. “Backpack? What does it look like?”

  “Um...black. I’m just wondering if a friend of mine got the right one back, that’s all.”

  He laughed, his eyes not leaving me. “Why don’t you just ask your friend?” Eric was so innocent. Before I could answer, a short girl sped past us. Her black hair swung against her back. It was Thanh. She still didn’t look happy, which made me think she didn’t get her backpack back after all.

  I returned Eric his empty cup. “I’ll be back.” I headed for Thanh, leaving Eric behind in the heavy applause.

  The MC stepped to the microphone. “Cool, guys,” his voice blared over us. “Give 26Down a big hand. That’s right! You’re so sick you’re sick.” He tipped his cowboy hat at us. Only a BYU student would be so bold as to mix country with alternative rock. “While we wait for the next band to set up, we got some sweet prizes. Hey, maybe if we draw some names, we’ll figure out a few real names out there, people?” His eyes trailed to a girl below him. “I know your name isn’t call me. But seriously, I wouldn’t mind.” A few ripples of laughter. Thanh kept getting away from me. Dressed to kill in a high waist pencil skirt and silk blouse, she looked ready for a secret rendezvous. I had a few guesses who that would be with. Above me, the MC drew a name out of a hat. “Cameron…uh…Cameron Hoogendowzer?”

  “Hornberger!” Cameron shouted back from the crowd.

  “Whatever your name is, congratulations, guy. Come get your floral perfume.” He glanced over at Cameron’s disappointed face. “Uh, sorry, dude. Maybe you can give it to your girlfriend.” Wife number two and Cameron’s Fling clapped their hands in excitement. I hid a laugh. Cameron’s fan club was gone. I guessed Chloe had better taste than I thought. Thanh covered the full length of the ballroom faster than I could get through the dancers in this crowd. Once she hit the hallway, there was no telling which direction she’d go. “Prize number two,” the MC shouted. “This is a good one. Fifty dollars’ worth of tanning at Sunny Salon.” The MC pulled out a name. “Cameron…Heizendine.”

  There was a collective catcall and I was momentarily distracted from Thanh. Someone had padded the box with Cameron’s name. My first guess was Tory. Cameron froze on his way back to his girlfriends. The MC laughed. “Hey, you got caught, buddy.” He drew out another name. “Cameron again!” Everyone laughed. A few murmured angrily. Yup. Tory. “Okay, we’re gonna have to pull out all of Cameron’s names from the box before we pick another winner,” the MC said. “Meanwhile, how about we have a little Battle of the Sexes?”

  Everyone cheered and jumped up around me, blocking my sight from the exits. There was no way to tell which way Thanh had gone. She was just too short. I needed higher ground.

  “Now is your chance. C’mon, guys, girls. It’s open mike night. Anything goes. He’s hitting on your best friend, let him have it. She’s spending all your money? Well, you won’t take it.” Even though the MC couldn’t possibly see me, I gave him an annoyed look. Why did some guys think women were just after their money? All the money in the world wasn’t worth dating a guy we didn’t like.

  The crowd went wild, especially when the MC handed off the microphone to a guy waiting in the wings. He had a cocky grin and a
knit skull cap. He had the makings of a jerk. “Hey, peeps!” he shouted down at us. “You girls whine and complain about not getting married, but let’s talk about why it hasn’t happened for you sweet little things, shall we?” He had better not go there. “How about the number one thing that will get you dumped. You wanna hear it!” Even the girls were screaming to hear it. Traitors. Somehow they thought they were exempt from these insults. “You are way too desperate, women. Why do you say things like when will I see you again? Where are things going? We’ve got to talk. You girls are way too focused on commitment. Chill out. Get it through your thick skulls; we’re just dating, babe. And don’t even get me started on return sister missionaries…”

  Some of the guys shouted out in appreciation around me. My glare was completely wasted on them. Their attention was on the weasel above us. A few guys gave their girlfriends weak smiles. “Get this,” the guy complained above us. “We’re paying for the dates. We’re paying for the ring. We give you our name and our money and for what? After all the bleach and fake bakes, your looks are gonna fade like a nasty tattoo.”

  To be fair, I noticed a few guys’ mouths hang open at that. “Whoa!” a guy shouted up at him. “Your girlfriend’s gonna kill you, dude!”

  Laughter spread through the room. The punk on the stage brought the mike to his lips. “You’re thinking it. I’m just saying it. In a few years, they’ll be just like their moms. Why do you think we run away screaming like little girls when we meet the future in-laws? It’s not that we’re afraid to commit, we’re just afraid to commit to that. So, do yourself a favor, girl, and keep the family hidden.”

  No, he didn’t! I turned viciously on him. “Your mom!” I shouted back through the crowd. At the moment, the stage was the highest place I could think of to locate Thanh. I stalked up the steps, taking two at a time.

  “Oh,” the MC called. “Looks like we’ve got a contender.”

  I wrestled the microphone away from the MC before he could say anything else stupid and pointed viciously at the guy with the skull cap. “Congratulations. In less than one minute, you made sure that no girl in this room will ever date you.”